THE COG BLOG

Dating VS Relationships

2009-10-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

There is a big difference between being in a relationship and dating. When a couple starts dating, they are supposed to use this time to get to know one another and decide if this person is right for them to have a relationship with. Too often people want to fast forward through the dating process and get right to a relationship. Without dating for a certain period of time, how do you know a relationship with this person will work?

People often tell us "I was in a relationship with so-and-so for 4 months" and we then ask "Well how long did you date before you got into the relationship?" And we get silence. The truth is they didn't date at all really in their mind, but to be quite honest, they DID date. Somewhere in there was a date or two by some definition. What occurred was the tendency to obtain an instant relationship.

Think about instant coffee. Which is better, instant coffee or brewed coffee? Yeah you have to wait longer for the brewed coffee but it tastes better. Same thing with pudding. You can have one faster, but if you wait, you get the better version. (If you still don't believe us compare real mashed potatoes with instant mashed potatoes and you have your answer right there.)

Dating is not a bad thing, It gives the couple the freedom to understand and discover what the other person wants before getting into a relationship. You are more prepared and ready for commitment. The flow moved at a natural pace, not a forced one. It feels right.

Of course some couples have success going directly into a relationship, but not everyone does. Dating prepares you for the concessions you have to make to be in a relationship with someone. There are less surprises when you have dated for a while, and less surprises is usually a good thing when it comes to relationships. No one wants to date for too long though, especially when it seems like the relationship will never start and you will just stay stuck in the dating phase forever.

So many women we have spoken to have complained that things are not like they were in the beginning. Well then why did you rush past that phase if you liked it so much? Wasn't it nice when you made plans for your dates instead of just sitting around the house watching TV all the time? Wasn't it nice to try a new restaurant and talk over dinner once in a while? Having take-out and eating it while watching TV can be fun of course, but couples rarely get out as much as they did when they were dating. It seems the longer a couple does date before they get into a relationship, the longer it takes for them to drop all the activities they had when they were dating.

Relationships are most women and men’s ultimate goal, but never forget that dating does serve a purpose as well. Instead of badgering him or her about when you are going to be in a relationship because you have zero patience, ASK US. Continually asking the person you are dating "Where is our relationship going" can put you on the fast track to Nowheresville.

A psychic reading can answer those questions for you, help you to have a little more patience, cut down on your anxiety and help you to enjoy dating. Of course you don't want to date someone for a long period of time only to have it go nowhere. You may feel that you have then wasted a lot of time. Before you decide to give up on the person you are dating because you think they will never be ready for a relationship, give one of our psychic readers a try. Could you imagine if you ended things and they were getting ready to take your dating to the next level? Then you REALLY would have wasted your time! A psychic reading can help you to avoid making bad decisions, just like it can prevent you from staying with someone for too long. Not every person you date is going to lead to a long term relationship, so why not find out from one of our gifted psychic readers if YOURS is going to or not.

The psychics from the Circle of Goddesses are able to give you insight in love, romance, relationships, career and finance or spiritual growth. You may speak with them by clicking on their Click4Advisor call buttons below. To learn more about our expert psychic advisors, click on the picture below.

Allow me to assist you in breaking through the barriers that hold you back from achieving your full potential in life, love, romance, career and business to put you on the right path to success and personal freedom.

I will guide you along your path and provide guidance to help you attain the desires of your heart in matters of love, life and career. I will assist you in finding balance in your spiritual, personal and professional life as well as attain peace of mind and the right path for your future.

Psychic Lady Sarah and psychic Sophia offer private psychic readings via click4advisor. Simply sign up with click4advisor and get your psychic reading today! All psychic readings are private and the psychic reader is never given your personal information. Our qualified professional psychic readers are available 24/7, ready to give you the best psychic reading possible. At this time are psychic readers are available only by phone. Our psychic readers are not offering email psychic readings at this time. Both of our psychic readers are gifted tarot readers and clairvoyant psychic readers. Our psychic readers are known relationship experts, and your psychic reading can help in all affairs of the heart. One phone call with our psychic readers can help you in areas of love, career, relationships, finance, etc. Soon our psychics will be giving free minutes after your first call, so check back with our psychics to find out when you can get some free minutes towards your next psychic reading. Give one of our professional accurate psychic readers a telephone call, you will be glad you did. If you prefer, you can arrange a call with our psychic readers to get your psychic reading or request an appointment with our psychic readers. Our psychic readers are here for you, and want to help. Pick up the phone and give them a call.

Tips for Getting a GOOD Psychic Reading

2009-08-08T16:18:00.000-07:00

A psychic reading should be used as a tool to guide you in the direction that will bring you optimal happiness. Readings are based on the influences currently at work in your life and, are by no means, written in stone. Our gifts allow us to assist you on your path through life - not pave the way for you. Your reading will always be determined by the decisions that you have made to get to this point in your life. Always keep an open mind and don’t get upset if a reader doesn’t see it “your” way. If you continue to dwell on a situation the negative energy that you create can actually negate that reading. Remember that your everyday decisions mold your future, so keep thinking positively and turn it over to God!

Try to be as calm and clear as you can when speaking with us. While we understand that certain situations are more stressful than others, it is impossible for us to get coherent information from you and give you a good reading if you are extremely upset. Remember we are highly sensitive people who can pick up your anxiety and emotions which can negatively influence the accuracy of your reading.

Things to Remember…

Only God is 100% accurate. As situations evolve you are making new decisions that can alter the outcome of any reading.
80% of the world’s population is here to learn about relationships, which is why relationships are so important to us as humans.
We are here to empower you, not tell you what you want to hear. We tell you what you are supposed to hear to encourage you on your journey through life, which is generally the direction the Universe wants you to go.
We care about you and want you to understand that it is not in your best interest to ask the same question over and over. While our advice may not be what you are hoping for, we are not going to tell you something different just because you continue to phrase the question differently. Sometimes it is best to allow the energy to settle between readings. Energy has cycles and rhythms and sometimes it is in your best interest to wait until the cycle has shifted to get another reading on the same question/situation. We will do our best to ensure you do not become overly dependent on us, seeking to empower you to make effective decisions necessary to live our life.
Nothing is set in stone. We can only provide a picture of where the energy is flowing at the moment. You are a divine spark of the Universe and can change projected outcomes at anytime by exercising your FREE WILL.
It is usually better to have a question ready for us although we are happy to provide general readings about what may or may not be coming into your life. A proactive question is something like: What could I do to have the relationship I want to have in my life? ~OR~ What could I do to make my situation better? It is often helpful to take a moment before calling and ask your motive for the question you want to ask. Sometimes when you ask a question, the advisor gets the motivation for the question and this is often the Universe’s way of warning you that you are about to take a wrong turn on your life journey and that you are doing something you are not supposed to be doing. This may not be something that you want to hear.
Please do not test us or seek to provide inaccurate information to see how good an advisor is. This will result in an inaccurate reading, wasting the advisors time as well as your time and money.
We will not sell you spells to manipulate the God-given FREE WILL of others into loving you. We will not offer to sell you aura cleansings or candle burning meditations so please don’t ask. We WILL give you advice and guidance on how to improve your current situation and empower you to be the best that you can be.
Please remember that we are psychic advisors who interpret information provided from a higher source. We are not psychologists, lawyers, doctors or other professionals who address behavioral, emotional or legal issues. The advice or guidance you receive is not a substitute for professional advice that you would normally receive from a licensed professional and should be considered for entertainment purposes only.

Others Will Treat you Like a Doormat if You Treat Yourself Like One

2009-08-08T16:11:00.000-07:00

Most people try to abide by the golden rule, where we do unto others and we would have them do unto us. We make an attempt to be kind, giving, and compassionate, treating people the way they want to be treated. Hoping they will do the same. Unfortunately, being a nice person will not ensure that others do not treat us as a doormat. They will manipulate and take advantage of if they can. But it is because we allow it, we allow others to treat us poorly because in truth that is how we see ourselves. So, when we see ourselves as unworthy or not lovable, that is exactly how others will see us - and treat us.

By defining our relationships we also define ourselves, and how we are treated in those relationships. Have you ever said to yourself "I treat ___ so great but they treat me horribly". Our question to you is, Why in the hell are you bothering to be so great to ____? Why do you feel the need to be kind to those who treat you horribly? Why do you let them get away with it? Most of the time the answers we hear are "Because I am a nice person, and I like to treat everyone nice and with respect". Oh yeah? Well what about YOURSELF?? What about your self-respect? When did that go out the window?

The nicer you are to yourself, the more you have to give to others, and with the niceness you receive in return, the more positive energy you have to give! It all starts and stops with YOU.

It's time to examine the relationships in your life and see what they say about YOU.

Are your kids out of control and treating you disrespectfully? If they are, then YOU are not in control of your kids and are disrespected. Do you want to define yourself that way?

Is your love relationship one where your needs are never met but you are constantly giving and giving and giving? Then you would have to define yourself once again as someone who is not appreciated, and giving to the wrong person.

Is your boss or superior constantly criticizing your work and letting other people slide, and promoting people that don't deserve it when you do? You may define yourself as a hard worker, but your boss doesn't. It is time to change how you define yourself and how others see you.

We are not telling you to treat people badly, that is NOT the message here. What we want you to learn is how to treat yourself better, and how to get others to treat you better as well. Nothing wrong with that, is there?

Defining Your Bouindaries in Relationships AKA Just say NO to Booty Call

2009-08-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

Relationships are defined differently with every couple, who each define and set their own unique set of rules and regulations. But what are rules and regulations, if nothing more than boundaries. We have boundaries so that we can protect ourselves. We set boundaries to define behaviors we find acceptable, or not. Look at your past relationships that went wrong, and sure enough, you will find there were boundary issues.

We cannot begin to tell you how many people have discussed their relationships with us that were so unhealthy, and how often the client expressed a feeling of hopelessness. How can you feel as though you have no power in YOUR relationship? Where did your power go? The boundaries were for YOU to define, from the beginning, not for your significant other to "guess" or figure out. Why is your relationship out of control and unhealthy?

Our question to you is why are you in a relationship that is out of control? Why are you allowing someone to overstep boundaries that make you unhappy? There is the real issue. Take a moment and ask yourself what kind of relationship you feel would make you happy and also ask yourself what behaviors within a relationship would make you miserable. Those are your boundaries folks, it is that simple.

These boundaries are NOT for people to guess or figure out, it is up to you to vocalize and enforce them. You have to take responsibility for them. Y-O-U. It is not up to someone else to meet the needs you won't verbalize nor explain. It is not someone else's responsibility to make you happy if you do not define and enforce boundaries within your relationship. This is necessary to ensure your happiness. Would you consider it bad parenting skills to have your children run wild, break curfew, talk disrespectfully to you, steal from you, and lie to you? The same holds true for you romantic partnerships. If you don't place boundaries with your relationship partner, your relationship skills are bad.

Once again, let's use a child as our example. When your child is young and you are trying raise them correctly, they are going to test you over and over, to see what your boundaries REALLY are. For instance if you tell your child not to ever curse in front of you or they will be punished do you really think the child will NEVER curse in front of you? A child will try to cross your boundaries to see WHAT YOU WILL DO ABOUT IT. If you do nothing about it, or the punishment is minor, they will feel as though that boundary doesn't exist, and they will cross it over and over again.

It is the SAME thing with your adult relationships. If you put out a boundary and your loved one crosses it, can you really expect them not to cross it again if there was only minor trouble when they did? Of course they will. If your complaint is that your partner calls you at midnight, after s/he has been out drinking with other friends, and wants you to come over and spend the night, and that makes you feel like a booty call, guess what? YOU ARE. If you are complaining the one you love will not take you out to eat or to a movie and will only come to your house for sex the question becomes "Since when did you want to be a booty call?"

If you don't want to be that booty call, the solution is simple!!! when that person expresses an interest in seeing you, tell them "Sure, where are we going?" and if they say "Well, I'm tired and figured we could just hang out at your house" DEFINE your boundary and tell them "Look, if this is going to be just about sex and you can't take me anywhere, then no thank you." Congratulations, you just set a boundary.

Now, they will most likely test you and see if they come up with a good excuse, or if they left you alone long enough for you to miss them, that you will back down and loosen your boundary. That is their hope. It is up to YOU to say "I told you, if you can't even take me out, you can't expect me to let you in my house for sex". Otherwise your boundary is a JOKE, and they just called your bluff and you blew it. YOU BLEW IT. YOU and YOU ALONE.

Your boundaries are what sets the stage for how people treat you. If you let someone treat you like a booty call, then that's what you will be. Why should they treat you with respect if you act like you have no SELF-respect? In 99.999% of cases, they won't. Now you cannot control how everyone on the planet will treat you, but you CAN control how people treat you on your planet. It is YOU who runs your world, and if it is chaotic, if your needs are not getting met, if your relationships are unhealthy, it is up to YOU as the one in charge to make your world a better place.

How a Psychic Reading Really Works

2009-08-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

More often than not, we as psychic advisers are inundated time again with questions about time frames and how timeframes will manifest in the clients' readings. First and foremost, there is NO 100% guarantee on time frames, time lines or timing of a future event.
In the psychic realm time is not linear. There is no reference. There is no starting point. There is no science to compute timing. It is fluid, like water, which moves and flows with a current. This is not something we came up with as an excuse as to why things did happen on Thursday. Nope. This is a law of psychics, actually, and discussed in depth by Albert Einstein. There is no time and space, everything happens now, according to Einstein. We don't want to argue that and sure as hell don't want to disprove it. So just because s/he did not call on that projected Thursday, it does not mean that we are wrong or that they are not going to call.

No one performs their job 100% perfectly 100% of the time. Do YOU? That being said, there are many other reasons WHY a reading does not manifest in the time frame given just as there are many reasons why the outcome changes. When we give a psychic consultation, we make it a point to delve deeper with the clients. Not just "is so and so going to come back" but the reasons why so-and so LEFT in the first place, what went wrong, and what needs to change so the relationship is different this time, and so-and-so does not leave again. After all that is what you really want isn't it? Not if he is 100% absolutely without a doubt going to call you at 10 PM on Thursday.

As psychic advisors we are constantly frustrated with the belief some people have that the problems in their lives are going to be solved by a "miracle", an "epiphany" or just "disappear" entirely. Countless times during psychic consultations we have to remind the client that change very very RARELY happens magically, it takes work. And TIME.

Leopards don't change their spots overnight, so how in the hell can you expect a human to? You would think that clients, who are willing to pay for psychic consultations, go through heartache of a dysfunctional relationship and everything it entails, would be more than happy to try something different (change) so they can have a relationship for the better. Think again.

Yes many clients want psychic consultations where the adviser is just supposed to support the client, give them happy fairy tale ending that things will work out like magic. If you are one of them, please find different psychics to consult with as we seek to empower you rather than keep you stuck in a dysfunctional relationship rut.

Keep in mind even those willing to do the work fall back on the same old behaviors and the dynamics of the dysfunctional relationship. This creates delays for time frames and outcomes. For example, if during your psychic consultation your adviser tells you that you and Joe will reconcile in Sept, but you must refrain from contacting him but you contact him anyway because you are feeling insecure. Well, forget September as your time frame.

Don't blame US if YOU can't follow the guidance your reading is giving you. If you are told during your psychic consultation to stand your ground so your relationship will move forward and you continue to engage with Joe because you are insecure or need validation, then again, your timing and outcome is off. Everything goes hand in hand, and IF there are things the client needs to do in order for our predictions to occur, then IF they are not followed, we accept zero responsibility.